Review: Heart Like Mine by Amy Hatvany

 When a young mother dies under mysterious circumstances, those she leaves behind begin looking for answers in the past—and find a long-buried secret they could have never imagined.

"I winced a little when she said this, as though she meant that a heart like mine was something defective because I hadn't had children. I didn't think of myself as less able to feel love. But her comments made me question myself and wonder if by missing out on motherhood, I was missing out on something that would make me a better person."

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After basically raising her younger brother and growing up without a strong mother-figure, thirty-six-year-old Grace doesn't want her own kids. Not that she's heartless—she runs a social service program helping battered women rebuild their shattered lives. She just doesn't think she was born with the "mother" gene, and that's okay.

Then she meets Victor, a charismatic restauranteur—and divorced dad. But Grace thinks she can handle the part-time stepmom thing for the right man. Victor's kids, Ava and Max seem nice enough. But just days after Victor pops the question, this ex-wife, Kelli, is found dead. Grace is suddenly thrust into the position of full-time stepmom to the grieving children.

Thirteen-year-old Ava has been taking care of her younger brother and unstable mom since her parents' divorce. She runs their daily lives, doing anything in her power to keep her damaged family afloat, because family is everything... and then everything comes crashing down.

We flashback to Kelli's troubled childhood, to her strict life she struggled to escape. Kelli is by far the most damaged of the three women (or soon-to be women) in this tale, and we discover that much of what she told of her past was lies. Who was this woman Victor married, who loved her children more than anything, who disintegrated before their eyes?

The hardest character to sympathize with was Victor. While he was a wonderful man who loved both his fiancee and his kids, his dedication to his career—his restaurant—often drove him from those who desperately needed him. It's a struggle typical of men,  attempting to balance the demands of a more than full-time career while physically and emotionally being there for his family.  Like the women in the story, I wanted him to be there more.

Heart Like Mine is a wonderful character-driven novel. Hatvany manages to create three distinct women's voices to narrate the story. I identified most with Grace—even though I am the opposite of a childless career woman. I admired her strength, her open-mindedness, and her honesty with herself, even when times got tough. Ava could have become a stereotypical teen girl, but she reveals her many layers as she wrestles with her beloved mother's death and her entire world turned upside down. At times I felt sorry for Kelli, by far the weakest woman in the story, yet at other times I wanted to smack her. A life of lies—even those told with good intentions—never ends well.

I found it interesting how there were no heroes or villains, just regular people, each somehow damaged by their pasts, struggling to do what's right.  As the perspectives switched, my loyalty followed each woman/girl as she shared her tale. 

Heart Like Mine is a compelling story about finding love, family, and acceptance.


Rating:  BUY IT.

Heart Like Mine

by Amy Hatvany

Washington Square Press

March 19, 2013

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Someone tell me about the BIRDS and the BEES...

The time is drawing near. 

I won't be able to deflect the questions much longer. 

How did you approach THE TALK with your kid(s)?

Last weekend I was thrilled to meet up with an old high school/college friend when she came to town to do Disney. She met my "boys" and I met her darling son and hubby. Oh, and she was visibly pregnant with number two (yay!). Knowing I had gone through a rough patch dealing with secondary infertility a few years back, she broke her good news to me gently.  Exceptionally considerate of her, but while I am over the moon happy for her, I am beyond baby lust at this point. Way beyond. As in: that ship hasn't just sailed, it was attacked by pirates and sunk. The thought of diapers and potty training and sleepless nights and...panic attack central.

I can't imagine going back to the baby business because my thoughts speed towards standardized testing,  bullying, online safety, kids and cell phones, and...explaining sex to my 9-year-old.

Last night at the dinner table—immediately after my husband excused himself—my son popped the question. Technically questions.

Him:  Mama, your friend was pregnant, right?

Me: Yup.They're so excited.

Him: (pause—fussing with napkin) So, how do women get pregnant? And how do women KEEP FROM getting pregnant?

Whoa! Panic! Panic! Sound the alarm. Call in the flying monkeys. Swoon? Am I raising a feminist or a Casanova? 

Somehow  I managed to just spear another bite of salad and play it cool. (All those years of acting paid off.)

Me: That's an excellent question. But we don't have time to answer that right now. Want a cookie? (crap, crap, crap, crap...where the hell is my husband...crap, crap...) How about two cookies?

Is nine (and a half)  too young? Should I keep pushing it off? Too old? Just right?

We forget sometimes how blissful it was to revel in that naivete. But this childhood innocence lasts for such a short time now. I mean, my kid's favorite song (though I tried, so help me, I TRIED to deter it) is Gangnam Style. Yes, he and his little buddies dance around singing "Hey....SEXY lady..." at the bus stop. It's like a runaway train. Once this this growing up business begins there's no hand brake—we all just hold on for dear life and try to find a way to steer so we don't crash too hard.

My kid is smart and perceptive, but he doesn't question things too often. We watch the news together and I usually don't get pummeled with questions when stories about gay rights or sexual abuse in the church or Zumba prostitution rings come up. Of course, I choose those moments to butt in with a question about school or Legos or the color of frog poop (as our friend says, "Look! A dirigible!"). But I actually have my answers prepped for those questions, so of course they haven't come up. 

The sex talk is another story. I'm clueless.

So, parents...how did you break the news? Anyone have any advice? Books to buy? I could always just set him down in front of prime time TV and he'd figure it out pretty quick, but I'm thinking that's not the right way to go...

I'll  keep putting THE TALK off as long as possible, but I need to be prepared. The Girl Scout in me is in panic mode. Help?

 FLASHBACK: A little Salt-N-Pepa encouragement



 


 photo credit: oleyography via photopin cc

Review: The Possibility of You by Pamela Redmond

Present day: Cait travels the world reporting on tragedies and social issues, suffering from an incurable case of wanderlust. While aiding in the search for a missing child, she gives into a moment of emotional turmoil and sleeps with a fellow journalist—who happens to be married. She gets pregnant. Though her adoptive parents have always been wonderful, she wrestles with feelings of abandonment, and realizes she must discover why her birth mother gave her up before she can decide if she is every capable of loving her own child. The clock is ticking.

1976: Billie's father has just passed away. While cleaning out his house, she discovers a box of letters from a grandmother she's never heard of. Without any money or prospects, she travels with her best friend and recent college grad, Jupe, to New York to meet the only family she has left. What she finds blows her mind. As she gets to know her new family, she falls into a deeper relationship with Jupe (a bisexual African American) and falls pregnant.

1916: Bridget, fresh of the boat from Ireland, works as a nanny for former showgirl and current socialite Maude's young son. When the child suddenly dies, Bridget stays on to help snap Maude out of her depression until she leaves to follow her heart and marry her love. War breaks out, her husband disappears on the front, and Brigit cannot afford to care for her child. She turns to Maude, and everything changes.

I have to say, I didn't see this book coming. It showed up with a lovely batch of novels I won via She Reads Book Club and Gallery books, and I just happened to pick it up the other day, not sure what I was in the mood to read next.

I'm so glad I did. THE POSSIBILITY OF YOU is a fabulous read.

Spanning three generations of women, the novel delves into all the dirty challenges that go along with potential motherhood. Far too many women forget that not every pregnancy is welcomed and not every woman is emotionally, physically, or financially prepared to be a good mother. Even the most virtuous of women can make a mistake and end up wrestling with consequences.

Each of the three main characters make reckless decisions.  I had a bit of trouble sympathizing with Cait in the beginning, as I have little respect for women who knowingly sleep with a married man. But her prickliness was a part of her character, and many people are selfish—the greater question became would Cait, adopted herself, keep the baby that relationship created or give into her self-doubt. Her adoptive mother—I just wanted to reach out to her. I can only hope real life adoptive mothers are so wonderful and supportive.

Redmond deftly carries the story between the generations. Though the way all the women were connected was no great surprise, I enjoyed the way the plot rolled out. The varied time periods were clearly defined and distinctly colored. The choices women must make—from different classes and generations—still shoot straight to the heart.

This book is far more than just a story of women's struggle with reproductive rights. Honestly, I didn't read any particular pro-choice or pro-life agenda, though a woman's right to birth control is pretty damn important. The consequences of terminating a pregnancy, giving a child up for adoption, and abandonment are complex for all involved. 

This would make a wonderful selection for any book club.

THE POSSIBILITY OF YOU
by Pamela Redmond
Gallery Books, 377 pages

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