There's a Frog in My Toilet

It was 6:48 a.m. on a lazy Sunday morning. I stumbled out of bed and walked to...well, where most people head when they first wake up...the loo.  My  bladder full, my eyes still half closed and crusted with sleep, I raised the lid.

A giant turd sat at the bottom of the bowl.  I ran through my litany of swear words in my head. I thought I had trained my boys better. They didn't even leave the seat up anymore. How dare they leave me a present!

Then the turd moved.

And I screamed.

Say hello to rana sphenocephala (a.k.a. the Southern leopard frog). While I am quite fond of frogs, I do not care for humongous ones hanging out in my toilet. That thing nearly scared the crap out of me. (Which would have been problematic, considering the toilet was obviously otherwise occupied.)

Apparently, I had the same effect on that slippery critter, because it swam into one of the holes to hide. 

I  fetched the hubby and my camera.

We banged on the bowl a bit and scared him back out. He jumped out of the bowl and hopped around the bathroom until we caught him with the net.

Yes, we actually have a critter net handy at all times. You'd be amazed how many lizards dare to venture onto our porch, even though the cat is waiting to turn them into a gory toy.

Mr. Leopard Frog did not want to go easily. Before I could twist the top of the net shut (I've seen snake catchers do that on Nat Geo and Animal Planet) he leaped across the bedroom and tried to get under our bed.

Now this was just getting nasty. Frog and toilet germs did not belong in my bedroom.

After some antics that would have made the Three Stooges proud,  I trapped him in the net  and dumped him in the backyard.

I have no idea how he got in to my toilet, and I don't want to know.

Meanwhile, we had to keep all this on the down low so Kiddo wouldn't be afraid to flush the potty ever again.

And all this before I even smelled my coffee.  I deserved a freaking a mimosa that morning.